Your wings were ready, but my heart was not.

I don’t post on here as much as I should anymore. However, I noticed that the last post was from last spring after we went to a couple of funerals. This year has experienced much heartache and loss. It’s strange, I knew this year was going to bring about a LOT of change. I just didn’t didn’t realize the entire scope of it. My job was at a turning point. I didn’t know which way it would go as I had several options I wanted to pursue. We were working at a much quicker pace on the house. We still had a few setbacks, but we got new windows installed, added a small wall, taped, textured, painted the entire basement and got new carpet. Both boys got new beds. Positive change was being made. I took a job as head athletic trainer for Campbell County High School, which I felt was a great fit for me and I was (and am still) super excited about! CJ came to work with me on several occasions, just as Ike and Zoey did when they were younger. It made CJ feel big and added some excitement to the day to hang out with the high school kids. As the year comes to a close and I reflect on the year, the changes made were not the ones I anticipated. They were not happy or positive changes. I now have too much time on my hands with out any direction. When most children leave the nest it is an expected one, that can come with planning and expectations. I didn’t get that. So now my house is much cleaner, I can make hair appointments, get manicures and I have way too much time to think about “What now?”.